A Client Yelled at Me Today
By VICKY BROWN
Now, before you think “wow, that must have been rough,” let me share why this actually turned into a valuable learning moment (and yes, it makes me grind my teeth a little bit to even hear that coming out of my mouth). You know those business clichés about ‘learning opportunities’ and ‘growth moments’? Well, sometimes they’re clichés because they’re true – even if they do make us roll our eyes.
You know, as entrepreneurs and business owners, we pour our heart and soul into our companies. We live and breathe our business. And when someone’s unhappy – especially when they’re unhappy enough to yell about it – it can feel like a personal attack. I mean, let’s be honest – who doesn’t feel that punch in the gut when someone’s criticizing something you’ve built from the ground up? But here’s the thing: it’s not personal, it’s business. And yes, I know that’s another cliché, but stick with me here.
Let me break that down a bit. When a client gets upset, they’re not really mad at you as a person. They’re not sitting there thinking about how Vicky Brown is a terrible human being. They’re frustrated because either their needs weren’t met, their expectations weren’t met, or – and this is usually the case – it’s some combination of both. And sometimes, those expectations weren’t even clearly communicated in the first place.
In my case, I had made a conscious decision to step back and let my team handle a particular situation. From my perspective, this was the right move. My team needs to grow, they need to develop their skills, and honestly, as a CEO, I can’t be deeply involved with every client interaction. That’s not scalable, and it’s not good leadership. I mean, if I’m still handling every client interaction myself after building a seven-figure company, something’s seriously wrong with my leadership approach, right?
But here’s where it gets interesting – and by interesting, I mean slightly painful – the client saw it completely differently. From their viewpoint, they weren’t getting the personalized attention from the CEO they’d come to expect. And you know what? That’s fair. The gap between my intention and their expectation is where things went sideways. It’s like we were reading from two different playbooks, and nobody noticed until the game was already in progress.
“…if they’re only happy when they’re working with me, I haven’t built a sustainable business, I’ve built a really expensive prison for myself“
Now, I could have taken this personally. Trust me, the temptation was there. I could have gotten defensive. I mean, I was trying to do the right thing for my business and my team, right? I could have launched into a whole explanation about scaling businesses and leadership development and all that MBA-style stuff. You know the kind – where you throw around terms like “operational efficiency” and “organizational development” until everyone’s eyes glaze over. But that wouldn’t have solved anything. Instead, I took a step back and asked myself some hard questions – the kind that make you squirm a little bit because you know the answers might not be comfortable:
How could I have communicated this transition better? And I mean really communicated it, not just mentioned it in passing during a status meeting. What systems need to be in place to ensure clients feel just as valued when working with my team as they do when working with me? Because let’s face it – if they’re only happy when they’re working with me, I haven’t built a sustainable business, I’ve built a really expensive prison for myself. What additional training might my team need? Not just technical training, but the kind of nuanced, relationship-building skills that make clients feel heard and valued.
Because here’s the real truth – when a client yells, it’s actually valuable feedback. I know, I know – it doesn’t feel valuable when your blood pressure is spiking and you’re counting backwards from ten in your head. But it’s telling you something important about your business processes, your communication, or your service delivery. Sure, the delivery method isn’t ideal (and trust me, my therapist will hear about this one), but the information is gold if you’re willing to listen past the emotion. It’s like getting a very loud, very uncomfortable audit of your business processes.
So what did I do in the moment? I apologized. Not one of those “I’m sorry you feel that way” non-apologies that we all hate. I listened – really listened, even though every fiber of my being wanted to jump in and explain or defend. I took the dressing down. And then I moved forward with a plan to address both the immediate situation and the underlying issues. Because that’s what professionals do, even when they’re secretly imagining throwing their phone into the ocean and moving to a small island somewhere.
Because that’s our job as leaders – to take these moments and turn them into opportunities for growth. Not just for ourselves, but for our teams and our businesses. And sometimes that means swallowing our pride, putting our ego in time-out, and really looking at where we can do better.
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So the next time a client yells at you – and trust me, if you’re in business long enough, it will happen (probably more than once, if we’re being honest) – try to remember these key points:
First, it’s not personal. Even if it feels that way, even if your chest gets tight and your face gets hot, it’s about business expectations not being met. Repeat it like a mantra if you need to.
Second, listen past the emotion to understand the real issue. What’s the gap between what you delivered and what they expected? Sometimes it’s like playing detective – the real problem isn’t always what they’re yelling about.
And finally, use it as a learning opportunity. What systems, processes, or communication strategies could you implement to prevent similar situations in the future? Because while we can’t prevent every client from ever getting upset, we can certainly learn from each situation.
You know, in my case, this situation led to some really productive discussions with my team about client communication and expectation management. And by productive, I mean we ordered in lunch, locked ourselves in the conference room, and really dug into what happened and how we could do better. We’re actually developing new protocols for handling certain types of client situations, and I’m working on better ways to transition client relationships. It’s not fun work, but it’s necessary work.
At the end of the day, running a business isn’t about avoiding difficult situations – it’s about handling them professionally and learning from them. Sometimes that means taking a few verbal punches and remaining professional. Other times it means recognizing when systems need to change. And occasionally, it means both at the same time, with a side of humble pie for dessert.
But it always means keeping perspective and remembering – it’s not personal, it’s business. Even when your eye is twitching and you’re fantasizing about that island getaway.
Remember – if nobody’s yelled at you yet, you’re either incredibly lucky or you haven’t been in business long enough. Either way, now you’ll be ready when it happens.
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