The New Kind of Ghosting: Present But Absent

By VICKY BROWN

Listen to this episode on

It’s not always the loud departures that shake your team. Sometimes, it’s the quiet ones – the slow fade, the ghosting that leaves everyone else carrying the weight.

A disengaged employee doesn’t always look like trouble on the surface. They’re there. They’re checking in. But something’s off – missed deadlines, minimal input, vague communication, slow response times. And if you’re a small business owner, this kind of behavior can ripple through your entire organization.

Here’s how to recognize it, address it, and move forward without losing momentum.

What “Present But Absent” Really Looks Like

This type of disengagement is subtle. These employees show up just enough to avoid major red flags – but not enough to truly contribute. They might drag their feet on client work, offer little in meetings, or dodge collaboration. And while they’re technically doing the job, their presence is creating friction.

Worse yet, your high performers see it. They’re the ones compensating. Resentment builds. And without intervention, that can lead to turnover – starting with the people you actually want to keep.

Start with Curiosity, Not Accusation

If you sense someone pulling back, start with observation, not blame. Try: “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter in meetings, and a few deadlines have slipped. Is everything okay?”

This opens the door. Sometimes the issue is performance-related. Other times, it’s burnout, personal stress, or even an undisclosed health condition. Either way, documenting the conversation is key – including what was said, how it was received, and what steps were outlined.

…Disengaged employees often thrive in vague environments. That’s why you need to spell out expectations.

Remove Ambiguity

Disengaged employees often thrive in vague environments. That’s why you need to spell out expectations. Write down deadlines, communication standards, and workflow protocols. Don’t assume “common sense” will cover it – make the rules of engagement crystal clear.

Specificity is your best friend. Instead of saying, “Be more proactive,” say, “After client meetings, send a follow-up email within 24 hours and update the project board.”

Focus on Behaviors, Not Feelings

Feelings don’t hold up in performance reviews – facts do. Track what matters:

  • How often are they late or absent?
  • Are deadlines being missed?
  • Have clients expressed frustration?
  • Are they engaging in team tasks?

Keep a log. You don’t need a fancy system – just consistent documentation that can show a pattern if things escalate.

Whether you’re an entrepreneur jumping into a leadership role, a seasoned business pro with new HR responsibilities, or just starting your HR career – we’ve got the right path to guide you through your HR hurdles.

Check out the Leaders Journey Experience.  This online education platform holds the LJE Masterclass, HR SimpleStart Academy and HR FuturePro Academy.

Not sure where to start – take the quiz!

Create a Window for Change

If performance doesn’t improve, offer a structured opportunity to course-correct. A 30-day action plan can provide clarity on what needs to change – and how you’ll measure it. Make sure everything is in writing.

Just be cautious if frequent absences or health issues are involved. You may be entering protected territory (think FMLA, ADA, or state sick leave laws). This is when HR or legal guidance is essential.

If It’s Not Working, Make the Call

If you’ve tried coaching, set expectations, documented the misses – and still see no improvement – it’s okay to move on. Just make sure your reasoning is grounded in documented behavior, not vague impressions or attitude judgments.

Then, take what you’ve learned and strengthen your onboarding, feedback loops, and expectations for the next hire. Use the first 90 days to set a clear tone and spot red flags early.

Leading Through Ghosting

Dealing with a disengaged employee can test your patience, but it’s also an opportunity to grow your leadership skills. It forces you to be clear, direct, and consistent – and it reminds your team that showing up matters.

Because your job isn’t to rescue every struggling employee. It’s to protect the health of your business, the energy of your team, and the trust of your clients.

Disengagement isn’t just a behavior issue. It’s a leadership moment.

And you’re more than capable of handling it.

Spread the word

This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our site.