What Every Manager Needs to Learn: The Basics of Coaching
By VICKY BROWN
“I hired someone great… so why am I still doing everything?”
You’re assigning tasks. You’re giving feedback. You’re holding meetings. And yet – you’re still the one solving the problems, making the decisions, cleaning up the messes. And while you might chalk it up to growing pains or team inexperience, I want you to consider something else:
Maybe your team doesn’t need more direction.
Maybe they need coaching.
The Truth About Leadership No One Told You
Most people become managers because they’re great at their job. That’s how it starts – you build the thing, deliver the service, and get results. Then you grow. You hire help. And you assume that managing people is just an extension of doing the work.
But managing isn’t about doing more work. And it’s definitely not about doing it for everyone else. It’s about building people – and that takes a whole different set of muscles.
If you’re in the early stages of building a team, this part can feel messy. You’re still figuring out your own leadership style, your team dynamics, and what it actually means to grow a business with people in it – not just around you.
And coaching? It’s not some abstract, soft-skill afterthought. It’s the most strategic move you can make if you want to stop being the bottleneck.
What Coaching Really Means (No Jargon, No Buzzwords)
Coaching isn’t a weekly calendar invite. It’s not something that requires a fancy certification. And no, it doesn’t need a slide deck.
Coaching is a mindset.
It’s choosing to develop your team instead of just directing them. It’s building capability, not dependency. And it’s the key to getting out of the weeds – not by abandoning your team, but by empowering them to move confidently without you.
When I talk to small business leaders about coaching, I’m not talking about performance management. I’m talking about how you talk to people. How you ask questions. How you listen. How you help them grow into the version of themselves your business actually needs.
“…When you manage, you’re focused on outcomes. Did they send the email? Did the task get done? When you coach, you’re focused on development.“
Managing vs. Coaching: Why the Distinction Matters
When you manage, you’re focused on outcomes. Did they send the email? Did the task get done?
When you coach, you’re focused on development. What got in the way? How are they thinking about it? What’s missing that would help them succeed next time?
The difference is subtle – but it matters.
Because when you only manage, you create task-followers.
When you coach, you build decision-makers.
And if you’re going to grow your business past the point where every single decision flows through you, you’re going to need more of the latter.
The Skills That Actually Make You a Coach
Let’s strip away the corporate language for a minute. You don’t need to overhaul your org chart or create a new policy.
You need three things:
- Real listening
Most of us listen to respond. Coaching requires you to listen to understand. To hear what they’re actually saying – and what they aren’t. That pause you take before answering? That’s where coaching lives. - Better questions
Replace “Did you do this?” with “What made that hard to finish?”
Or “Why didn’t you…” with “What do you think would help next time?”
These kinds of questions aren’t traps – they’re invitations. They create room for your team to reflect, take ownership, and develop self-awareness.
- Growth-focused feedback
Feedback doesn’t have to be heavy-handed. It doesn’t have to be awkward. Start with:
“Can I offer a suggestion?”
“Want to talk through that last project together?”
“What would you try differently next time?”
When your feedback feels like partnership – not punishment – people lean in instead of shutting down.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur jumping into a leadership role, a seasoned business pro with new HR responsibilities, or just starting your HR career – we’ve got the right path to guide you through your HR hurdles.
Check out the Leaders Journey Experience. This online education platform holds the LJE Masterclass, HR SimpleStart Academy and HR FuturePro Academy.
Not sure where to start – take the quiz!
Here’s the Mistake I See Leaders Make (All. The. Time.)
They treat coaching like a special event.
You know the drill – you schedule a formal check-in, say all the right things, and then… back to business as usual. The problem is, most of the moments that matter don’t happen during scheduled meetings. They happen in the day-to-day.
After a project wraps.
After a tough client conversation.
After a missed deadline.
During that walk to the coffee shop.
In a Slack message at 4:45 p.m.
That’s where coaching lives. In the unplanned moments. In the curiosity. In the habit of not just reacting – but developing.
The Question That Changes Everything
If you’re not sure where to start, here it is:
“What do you need from me to be successful this week?”
Simple. Direct. But it flips the whole script. It tells your employee, “I’m here to support your growth – not just monitor your output.”
And once you start asking that kind of question, everything changes. The trust level shifts. The energy shifts. The responsibility shifts – in a good way.
You Don’t Need to Be a Natural Coach – Just a Consistent One
I know this can feel clunky. Especially if you’re used to jumping in and fixing things. Especially if you’ve built your business by being the expert.
But when you’re always the expert, you stay stuck doing all the work.
When you become the coach, you start building leaders around you.
That’s when your business stops relying on you for every little thing.
That’s when your team starts stepping up.
And that’s when you get to focus on the bigger picture.
So here’s what I want you to do this week:
Pick one person on your team. In your next conversation, ask one coaching-style question. Just one. Then be quiet. Let them answer. Let them think. Let them lead.
Then do it again next week. And the next. Build the habit.
Because the truth is – you’re not just someone’s boss.
You might be the first person who ever made them feel capable.
You might be the reason they step into their next level.
And that? That’s the kind of leadership that lasts.
Spread the word
MORE HUMAN, MORE RESOURCES
310.308.7680 option 1
hello@idomeneoinc.com