What to Do When an Employee Complains About You
By VICKY BROWN
Let’s talk about one of the most uncomfortable moments in leadership: when the complaint is about you.
Not the company. Not your team. Not a vendor. You.
Maybe it comes through your HR consultant. Maybe someone on your leadership team flags it. Or maybe it shows up as a vague line in an anonymous feedback form. However it lands, it feels the same — personal, jarring, and often… a little unfair.
Because when you’re the CEO, there’s a certain pressure to believe you have to have it all figured out. You’re the face of the company. The final decision-maker. The steady hand. So when someone says your tone was off, or that they felt uncomfortable after a conversation with you, it can feel like an attack — on your intentions, your professionalism, your character.
But here’s the reality no one really talks about: if you’re leading people, at some point, you’re going to mess it up. You’re going to be too blunt. You’ll forget how much weight your words carry. You’ll deliver a hard message and someone won’t hear it the way you meant it. That’s not a failure of leadership — it’s part of it. What matters is how you handle what comes next.
Your first instinct might be to brush it off. “They’re just sensitive.” “I didn’t say anything wrong.” “They misunderstood.” And maybe all of that is true. But defensiveness closes the door before the real conversation can even start. And the real conversation isn’t about whether you were “right.” It’s about whether your leadership is landing the way you think it is.
Before anything else, slow down. Don’t try to solve it in the first five minutes. Ask questions. Listen — really listen. And stay grounded. What actually happened? What was said, and how was it experienced? What’s the context? Is this a one-time misunderstanding or the third time you’re hearing something similar?
Because here’s the thing: not every complaint is an HR crisis. Sometimes it’s just confusion. Or fear. Or a response to a moment where something didn’t sit right. That doesn’t mean you need to issue a statement or call legal. But it does mean you should pay attention.
“…Sometimes complaints uncover real gaps – in communication, expectations, even values. And sometimes, they reflect a deeper issue that needs your attention. But you won’t find that out if you shut the door too early.“
If more than one person is expressing discomfort — even in different ways — it might be time to examine your patterns. Are you being too curt when you’re under pressure? Is your delivery changing when you’re frustrated? Are you so focused on solving problems that you’re steamrolling the people involved?
And listen, none of this is easy. You’ve got 100 things on your plate. You’re moving faster than your team. You see the full picture — budget, client demands, long-term strategy — and they may only see one piece. So yes, it makes sense that sometimes your decisions might feel abrupt or confusing from where they’re sitting.
But part of leading is slowing yourself down enough to see the gap between intention and impact.
You don’t need to agree with everything that’s said about you. You don’t even need to change your decision. But if your team is walking away confused, frustrated, or feeling dismissed — and no one tells you — that’s when things really start to break down. So when someone does speak up, even if it stings, take it as a signal that the door is still open. That’s a gift.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur jumping into a leadership role, a seasoned business pro with new HR responsibilities, or just starting your HR career – we’ve got the right path to guide you through your HR hurdles.
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Now, let’s talk about what to do with it.
If the concern was raised informally, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. Document it. Note what was said, what you learned, what you did in response. And if the issue touches on anything related to discrimination, harassment, or culture, bring in your HR advisor. You don’t want to go it alone here — not because you’re guilty of anything, but because the risk to your company is real if you handle it sloppily or emotionally.
And then — when the dust settles — don’t miss the opportunity to reinforce your culture.
You don’t need to announce the details. But you can say, “We’re committed to a culture where feedback goes both ways.” You can say, “If something I do or say ever doesn’t land well, I want to hear about it.” That’s not weakness. That’s leadership.
Because your team is watching you. Not just what you say, but how you respond. They’re learning what’s safe to speak up about. What gets brushed off. What gets punished, even subtly. And when you model accountability at the top, you give permission for everyone else to show up with more honesty and care.
Here’s what I want you to remember: being the CEO doesn’t mean being above reproach. It means being the first to show what real leadership looks like when things get uncomfortable.
You don’t need to spiral. You don’t need to bend to every piece of feedback. But you do need to stay open. To stay curious. To stay human.
Because the way you handle these moments — calmly, clearly, with humility and backbone — is what builds the kind of trust that lasts.
And that’s what makes the difference between a business that runs — and one that thrives.
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