HR Nightmare Fuel
By VICKY BROWN
We all love a good concert moment — the lights, the crowd, that kiss-cam sweep across the audience. But what happens when the kiss goes viral… and takes a company’s leadership down with it?
At a recent Coldplay show, two people got caught in a romantic moment on the jumbotron. Harmless, right? Not this time. The man was a CEO. The woman? His head of HR. And he was married. Within days, the clip made its way online. The internet noticed — and so did his board. Shortly after, he was out.
Now here’s the thing — this wasn’t about a lawsuit. It wasn’t even a formal complaint. This was about perception. It was about what happens when boundaries blur, and power dynamics go unchecked. And while it might sound like something that only happens in big corporations, I promise you — small businesses are just as vulnerable. Maybe even more so.
Leadership Is Always On Display
There’s this myth that small teams are different. That you’re not under the same microscope because there’s no corporate ladder or legal department breathing down your neck. But let me be clear: the smaller the team, the thinner the walls. Your people see everything. They hear what’s said — and what’s not. They notice who’s treated gently and who gets cut off in meetings. They feel when something is “off,” even if no one names it.
And when the leadership is part of the problem? That silence gets louder.
Culture is made up of a thousand tiny moments. A wink across the office. A joke that lands just a little too personally. An inside connection that makes everyone else feel a step behind. If you’re in a leadership position, your choices aren’t private — even if you think they are. Because perception is reality in the workplace. Especially when trust is on the line.
“…A lot of small business owners want their team to feel like a family. They want warmth, connection, fun. I love that. But here’s what I’ve seen time and again: in the absence of structure, “fun” can easily turn into “fuzzy.” And fuzzy boundaries get people hurt.“
Why Every Business — Yes, Even Yours — Needs a Dating Policy
I get it. You trust your people. You’re not running a Fortune 500 company with a 200-page handbook. But here’s the deal: trust without clarity is a setup for confusion. And confusion, especially around romantic relationships, can damage more than just reputations — it can tank morale, fracture teams, and create legal exposure you never saw coming.
A solid workplace dating policy doesn’t mean you’re playing relationship police. It means you’re putting expectations in writing so no one’s guessing what’s okay and what’s not. And more importantly, so no one feels blindsided if something goes sideways.
Here’s what your policy needs to cover — simply and clearly:
- Whether romantic relationships between employees are allowed
- If so, when and how they must be disclosed
- What happens when one person supervises the other
This isn’t about shaming people. It’s about protecting the business. Because when a relationship involves a power imbalance — like, say, the CEO and the head of HR — it’s not just messy. It undermines the very systems meant to keep things fair.
And if the person in HR is romantically involved with the person at the top? That takes away your team’s sense of safety and neutrality — and once that’s gone, it’s hard to get it back.
Don’t Confuse a Good Vibe with a Good Culture
A lot of small business owners want their team to feel like a family. They want warmth, connection, fun. I love that. But here’s what I’ve seen time and again: in the absence of structure, “fun” can easily turn into “fuzzy.” And fuzzy boundaries get people hurt.
If your team starts to think the rules apply differently depending on who you are or who you know, that’s when the cracks show. People stop speaking up. They start making assumptions. They disengage. And they start looking for the exit — or worse, for a lawyer.
Culture isn’t about ping-pong tables or group selfies. It’s about consistency. It’s about what you tolerate, what you address, and what you model as a leader. If you let poor judgment slide at the top, the whole foundation starts to wobble.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur jumping into a leadership role, a seasoned business pro with new HR responsibilities, or just starting your HR career – we’ve got the right path to guide you through your HR hurdles.
Check out the Leaders Journey Experience. This online education platform holds the LJE Masterclass, HR SimpleStart Academy and HR FuturePro Academy.
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So What Should You Do?
Here’s where we bring it back to you — the small business owner, the founder, the team leader. You don’t need to panic. You need to get intentional.
Start by asking yourself a few questions:
- Do we have anything in writing about workplace relationships?
- Do my actions match the standards I expect from others?
- Would I be okay with this moment — this hug, this joke, this conversation — being posted online with our company name attached?
And if the answer gives you pause? That’s your cue.
You don’t need to overcorrect and become a cold, distant boss. But you do need to lead with clarity. Be transparent. Be consistent. And for the love of your business, stop thinking no one’s watching. They are.
Final Thoughts
The Coldplay kiss-cam didn’t create the scandal. It simply captured what was already happening behind the scenes. That’s how most culture problems play out. The signs are there — we just don’t notice them until it’s too late.
So take the hint now, while you still have time. Create the policy. Communicate the standard. Model the behavior. Protect your culture before it needs protecting.
Because you may never end up on a stadium screen — but your team is watching. And what they see shapes everything.
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